So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
