the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The Olympian is in my bed
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