and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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