"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
