I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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