Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
