Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
