yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think weed is turning my hair brown
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
