I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
