She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
