we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
