She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
