so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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