pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
