I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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