I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
