guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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