Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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