Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
