so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
