Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
