she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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