Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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