I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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