Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
