Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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