You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
