im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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