ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
