Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
