It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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