There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Panties = found
Randomize
