Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
