I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
