It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
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