dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's blow job season.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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