after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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