There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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