i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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