Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
