While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
