Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
