I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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