what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Your penis caused this!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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