I heard we made out
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
