the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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