Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i think i just lost a toe
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