haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
