i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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