was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
vagina is talking i cant
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
