At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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