Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Welp...herpes.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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