peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
