It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
